Science Guy is still gone and I’m still having to make my own coffee.
I’m also having to make my children breakfast, pack their lunches and yes, help with math – and even a little science, God forbid. Thankfully, he comes home tomorrow and can go back to waiting on me! I’m sure he’s thrilled.
Now before you start criticizing me thinking I must not do anything around here, I’ll remind you that I do the laundry – which happens to include his underwear. Plus, I’m the mom, we do a lot even if nobody notices right?
Despite knowing how much I do accomplish in a day, I always feel a little guilty about how much he does when I hear women complain their husbands won’t help around the house. So you know what? I make sure and tell him daily how much I appreciate him….I never let it go unsaid. I know how lucky I am and I know that he thinks he is too. That’s why we work and why I miss him so damn much!
Of course this week has reminded me to appreciate him even more but it’s also made me think maybe he’s right about the amount of rest I need. I am freaking exhausted! He’s always saying “sit down for a bit babe, you’re going to wear yourself out” which I have to say, annoys me a little. His phone call last night included those exact words. Then he added, “you’ve had a busy week, I want you to rest tomorrow”. I’m not sure how he knew that but he did. He always knows and tells me about it in case I’m not paying attention. He’s kind of bossy that way.
One day not long after I was diagnosed, I was sitting with him and having an especially horrible “I’m going to die and leave you with 3 small children” moment and he looked at me and said, “you’re not going to die!”. I asked him how he could be so sure, thinking he’d read something in one of the research articles our oncologist had given to him, or maybe he’d been talking to his old boss who now runs drug development at a cancer center. You know, something factually based that was going to save me. Instead he looked me right in the eye and said: “I know because I’m not going to let you leave me.”
Somehow I think that made me believe him more than anything else. Bossing me around and taking care of me is his way of making sure I stick around, so I’m going to do what he said. I’m going to take the day off. I’m going to take a long bath, read my book, and catch up on blogs and the latest episode of House. I’m going to rest.
At least until 3:00 when I have to pick up D3 and take her birthday shopping for a sleepover she’s going to when I’m out of town this weekend. Oh, and I need to cook that chicken to shred for enchiladas, and email D3’s teacher about friday, get a thank you card for D1’s oboe teacher and swing by the grocery for a few things. I won’t tell him if you won’t.