I’d Like Some Panties Without an Ass Please.

Victoria's Secret Black Friday at Westfield Sa...

Image by Steve Rhodes via Flickr

Because I’m not always real consistent, and I have a bad case of over-medicated brain, I went to Victoria’s Secret yesterday.

Yes, on the day that I proclaimed my distaste for all things “pink”, I went to the pinkest store on the planet. And in case you don’t notice just how pink it is, the actual word “PINK” is printed on the ass of half the merchandise.

There is also a large percentage of their items that don’t actually come with a backside. Those are what I went to buy. I have a night away ALONE with Science Guy this weekend and he seems to be on some sort of thong kick. The cancer diet has helped decrease the size of my butt a little so I decided to indulge him. I bought two. Still had to wonder though – is floss up your crack really a good look?

I considered buying a matching bra but I couldn’t find the section for my size. I was looking for something along the lines of “bras for the woman who used to be an impressive 36D but then she had 3 kids and now she’s  just happy to keep them out of her soup” – without extra padding.

I couldn’t find that and I didn’t want to ask the sales clerks. They were busy helping a currently impressive 36D and I didn’t want to have to yell “spoiler alert” before giving her a peek into her future. At least I hope this is how she’ll end up. It would make the jealous catty part of me very happy.

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11 thoughts on “I’d Like Some Panties Without an Ass Please.

  1. OOoooo Pink Boxes ¸.•*´`*♥

    What a riot – from anti-pink rant to the pinkest place on the planet. Atta girl! Now – mayhaps a Mary Kay ‘pink’ rep can give you a nice makeup demo before your night away with your thong lovin’ fella ;))
    BTW – did you splurg, and get the garter and fishnet #’s that go with your assless pantaloons?

    • My mind when to the pink boxes too but I thought I’d spare you all that image again!
      I didn’t get the garter & fishnets. I just paid and ran. Screw Mary Kay!

    • Call me when you have 2 more – with little to no break between breastfeeding them. Then we’ll talk 😉
      Thank God for cordless phones because I’d probably get them tangled in one of those old ones.

  2. I gave up finding comfortable thongs long ago. They don’t exist and the only way my ass will look presentable is covered up. Victoria Secret is a bad, bad place.

  3. Pingback: Real Men Swear When They Crochet « Lost in the Chaos

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