Real Men Swear When They Crochet

Photo showing how to pick up a dropped stitch ...

Image via Wikipedia

You may recall that while I was out of town last month, my family decided they should learn to knit and crochet via YouTube. I tried to explain we don’t know how to do that at our house but they didn’t listen. I don’t understand why they didn’t let me rain on their parade. Don’t they know that’s kind of my job. Hellooooo?? Are they new here?

They’re still trying and I admit I have to give them credit for persistence. Instead of stray yarn all over the house, we now have crochet chains or whatever the hell they’re called. Nobody has learned to back-stitch yet so they’re just long thin things. Science Guy says he’s making me a thong. Yeah, he’s still on that  kick. 

He also knitted a little crooked square but it was unraveled during what could only be described as a temper tantrum had it been thrown by one of the girls instead of the 47 yr old man of the house.

I was kind of under the impression it was supposed to be something done to relax but after the tantrum, even SG admitted it doesn’t seem to be working. By the way, when he told his mom he was trying to learn, she was all “You’re kidding right? You aren’t really crocheting, are you? Men don’t do that!” She’s supportive that way. You should hear her talk about SG’s friend who is a stay-at-home-dad!!

I may roll my eyes a little but at least I’ve never once questioned his manhood. Who cares if he’s making crochet chains at the one end of the couch while I watch extreme sports and scratch myself at the other.

He’s the mellowest person I know but he gets crabby when he crochets. (That is really not a sentence I ever thought I’d write!) He’s been watching somebody’s aunt Edna or Madge or something give lessons on YouTube and he’s really not very nice to her. He mumbles when he crochets and it sounds a lot like “That bitch Edna really isn’t very helpful” and “Fuck Edna, that doesn’t work!” It’s good he doesn’t know where she lives.

Actually, I’m enjoying the process. It’s entertaining to watch. I can’t wait to show you pictures when he finishes my thong. Not while I’m wearing it of course, because I like you all too much.


10 thoughts on “Real Men Swear When They Crochet

  1. I learned how to knit through the internet. The best website I found was this one: which has very good videos of each step in the process. Its really good to de-stress after pipetting all day (I’m a scientist too).
    By the way, I love reading your blog 🙂

    • Good to know – thanks! I’ll pass the link onto him. I’m sure it’s a great break from science. I couldn’t do what you all do! Thanks for reading and commenting.

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