Wanted:

MWF looking for one slightly used mind to replace one which has recently been lost. Would prefer one which will NOT do any of the following:

  • Offer to take her oldest daughter to the midnight showing of Harry Potter on a school night.
  • Suggest she bring a friend or two – and offer to pay for them all.
  • Say things like “Do you think we need to get in line at 10:30 or 11:00?”
  • Plan the taking of medication so as not to miss any of the good parts will making trips to the bathroom.

A shiny new model is not necessary as the previous mind was neither clear nor operating at full speed. Minimum functioning levels are desired and the ability to multi-task is non-negotiable.

Please email applicant with best price and photos of a well rested current owner to confirm the new mind is NOT stupid enough to stay up all night with middle schoolers.

Thank you!

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10 thoughts on “Wanted:

  1. i’d offer up my mind but i previously gave it to my children and they trashed it… but i’m sure you’ll find one!! 😉
    thanks for reading me! i’m reading back!
    aims

  2. This is too funny. But it’s definitely not my mind you want. I got it second-hand from Craig’s List and it has never worked properly.

    And stupid Harry Potter. You only have one more movie after this one to live through.

    • Truthfully I love the Harry Potter movies and we’ve gone to the last few together at midnight. I would just prefer a matinee at about 4:00pm – NOT on a school night. But there ya have it.

  3. I’d offer you what is left of mine, but I doubt you’d want it. This is the brain that thought it would be “fun” to take the 17 year old daughter and 3 friends to the midnight show of Rocky Horror,in the city (Chicago) on Halloween Eve. The poor kids are still afraid to close their eyes at night!

  4. I love the movies, too – and the books. my kids aren’t old enough to see the movies – but i’m pretty sure that if a middle schooler wanted to spend time with his momma? i’d sign right up. school night or not. sorry.

    • I know. I agree but that’s wouldn’t have made a very interesting post! 🙂

      We’ve done the midnight release of the last movies and book together so it’s kind of our thing. It would have been easier to say “no, not on a school night” but I wouldn’t want to pass up those memories!!

  5. Um. Yeah. Me too. And I have to work all day Friday with young children (Director of a small child care program). But I *did* think to say that we had to take a nap from 7:00 to 11:00 first – so at least *I* will get one!

    The whole brain thing is useless after having babies anyway, and I adopted mine. I think it’s the sleep deprivation and the constant need to remember who likes their apple peeled, whole, sliced, or cored along with every other detail in the whole damn universe -eventually the whole system just starts to short out…

    At least there’s enough left to enjoy a good movie (after an evening nap)!

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