I’ve realized after something like 86 posts, I may have run out of things to say. There is nothing more of interest in my head and I have no new stories. I’m having to rethink why I’m writing and who I’m writing for.
I started out thinking this was a good place for therapy, to just get shit out of my head and yes, it has been. I also thought it might be a bit of a humor blog. Other than maybe a couple of posts, it hasn’t been. As far as “types” of blogs, I’m not sure where I’d fall.
Am I a mom blog, a cancer blog, a mom with cancer blog?
Am I identified again by my disease because it’s frequently on my mind, even though I originally claimed that’s not who I wanted to be?
Or do I need to put it less in the background and truly embrace my illness and put a face on it? Is that my only unique perspective?
I also can’t help but wonder why I’m not nearly as funny in print as I am in my mind? So often I start to write something and find it’s really turning into a “you had to be there” kind of thing. When I re-read it, I realize many of you would probably be glad you weren’t. Like D1 questioning SG’s sexual prowess this weekend. It made me pee myself. When I write it, it’s just not Depends worthy.
The other question nagging me is – Why I am I so freaking obsessed with my blog stats if I’m “writing for me”? Why is it that every time I get a good day in the bar graph, it’s bordered by 2 really low days so that it looks like even my stats page is giving the finger?
I don’t know what I’m looking for or where I think this blog is going. Somehow I guess I thought it would work itself out.
I look at the amazing bloggers out there and wonder how you do it? How do you consistently come up with such perfectly written topics?
I used to think writing was something I was moderately good at. It is something I enjoy but I’m wondering if maybe it turns out the subject matter just isn’t as interesting as I’d hoped. Is it more than my overuse of the word just?
I guess I’ll continue to wing it until I get over this identity crisis. In the meantime, I suppose there will be growing pains.
Thanks to all of you who have stuck around so far. I will figure this out damnit!