Today I made fudge. Something I don’t normally do unless it’s Christmas time and something that really shouldn’t merit a blog post. But as I was stirring, so much came into my mind and it needed someplace to go.
I made it with D2’s help because she asked me to. She wants to give it to her friend who has been gone from school for 3 weeks but is coming back tomorrow. It’s her favorite and D2 wants to give it to her to let her know we’ve been thinking of her.
You see, she and her mom and little brother were in a car accident on January 6. Her mom passed away 6 days later. This poor sweet little girl is 10 and just lost her mom. In the eyes of my 10 yr old, taking some of her favorite treat to her at school might help her get through the day.
Their teacher told me she’ll be sitting between D2 and another little girl. In a “safe supportive place” where she can gradually re-acclimate to the routine of school.
Her little brother is in 2nd grade. We’re sending enough for the whole family.
I don’t know why, even at 10, cooking is what we do in times of grief but I know we’re not alone in that. D2 and some other girls decided a week ago that when she returned, they would each bring her something that might make her a little happier. That’s when D2 came home and told me she needed fudge.
I didn’t hesitate to say ok. If there is anything at all that can help, even a favorite treat, then I’m on it. Partly because it gives my own kiddo a sense of helping her friend when nothing will make the situation ok.
She called D2 a couple days after her mom passed away and I think it helped them both.
There were quiet moments, typical 10 yr old giggling moments and I guess everything in between. But in the end, when they hung up, there was a little peace that only a friend could give her. She had someone to confide in about how the truck driver that crossed into their lane and hit them yelled afterwards.
In the eyes of a scared 10 yr old alone with her brother and her injured mom, he was yelling at them for wrecking his truck. She’s dealing ok but it’s the accident and her mom’s scream that are staying with her. It’s going to be such a long recovery and one she and her brother shouldn’t have to face at such a young age!
I’m proud of D2 for the way she’s handling it. How there she is for her friend even in little ways. I can’t imagine how hard it will be for her and her little brother to go back to school but I’m glad they’ll be back among friends. Kids who love them and will be there to listen, or just play. Who will support them as they try to find a new sense of normal.
My oldest daughter has been through this twice with friends. Each of those girls lost their moms to brain cancer. One in 4th grade, the other the summer before 7th.
I don’t know why this keeps happening. Moms are not supposed to leave. But as I watch my girls support their friends I’m amazed how kind and brave they are. Braver than I am!
There is nothing that will make a loss of this magnitude ok so in the absence of the perfect remedy for their pain, we cook. And when we make it, we put in extra love.