Is This The Part Where She Hates Me?

If you’ve been around lately, you know that we’ve been making the rounds at high school open houses. D1 will start high school in the fall and we were trying to decide where she’ll go. The decision has been made and we’re feeling really good about it. Now we’re entering the part where she’ll go to an all day orientation and where we need to fill out the registration and course selection papers.

This is also the part where she gets super excited and where the reality hits me and I head off into “oh shit, my baby is starting high school” land.

Let me repeat that – MY BABY. IS STARTING. HIGH SCHOOL!

How the hell did that happen?

Last I checked she was running across the park to the ice cream man. Ok yeah, she did that was last summer but I’m thinking more about when she toddled towards the ice cream truck in her pink tennies. Not when she yelled, “hey mom, I need money”.

I’m thinking about when she was wearing arm floaties in the pool instead of trying out for the swim team.

I’m excited for her but I don’t know the first thing about parenting a high school girl. Honestly, high school girls scare me a little. Ok, a lot. They’re all cute and cliquey and drive and like boys! Well most of them. Some like girls and that’s ok too but I’m rambling.

See how freaked out I am?

The biggest thing I remember about high school girls is that they hate their moms. That’s right. They do. I don’t think I did but I know my sister did and she was a first-born too. Hell, she’s still not all that fond of her.

What if D1 decides I’m really not all that? Does anybody say “all that” anymore?

See? I’m already an uncool dork. I’m doomed. I’m going to completely screw up her life with my hysterics and nerdiness.

Then all her college money will go to therapy and she’ll write an autobiography trashing me and I’ll have to hide from the neighbors. It’s one big snowball effect you know. I might as well hide now.

The good news is there are a few of her friends going to the other high school that I’m kind of glad she’s getting away from. But who else will she meet? Who will that charming percussionist be who wants her to sit in the back of the bus with him on band trips? I’m in no way projecting there.

Is it weird that I’m relieved that when she watches National Treasure, she likes the nerdy sweet side kick guy instead of Nicholas Cage? I worry about all the dating, broken heart crap ahead of her.

My mom dealt with it by saying “well in 20 years what will it matter?” In the end she had a point (a bit) but 20 years wasn’t on my radar then. I was upset and needed to deal with it then. I hope I’ll find a way to handle this uncharted territory without bringing my own old high school baggage into it.

I know what she’ll go through will be uniquely her experiences and I hope like hell they’re good ones! And that I don’t send her off the deep end into motherhatingville.

I kind of think I’m not off to a very good start after the weekend of eye rolling and tears we just had. Thank God we have SG as a buffer with all his sainthood and patience and shit.

I can do this. High schoolers have to be easier to deal with than cancer. Don’t they???


2 thoughts on “Is This The Part Where She Hates Me?

  1. I agree that at some point, high school daughters do hate their moms. I know that I did (situationally, usually when a curfew was enforced). I am happy to report however, that my daughter is in her LAST semester of high school, and even if she’s thought it, I’ve never heard her say those dreaded words outloud. Have faith!!

  2. No, people don’t say “all that” these days, but you can be like my mom (with her classic “Jesus, Mercy!” equivalent to oh my gosh in a very Filipino accent) and just keep saying it that your daughters and others might just pick it up.

    I’m no parent or parenting expert, but it looks to me you and SG have pretty good relationships with your kids so far. Even with choosing her high school, you let her have input and some independent thought about it. Scoring points! I’ll say too throughout high school I steadily loved my mom more and more and appreciated her. Most of my friends constantly argued with theirs, but it was because they didn’t have much of a relationship with them. Sure, my mom had certain rules to follow (like calling her when I got to school once I started driving myself), but I did them and that established a trust between us. That too paved the way for my mom to act a little differently – relate to us more – and by the time my youngest sister was in high school (she’s 6 years younger), my mom and her were talking about boys who were crushing on her and other typical high school drama that she probably would have only shared with her friends.

    There may be some tough times, but I think you have a solid foundation (much like I think I had) that will withstand the dreaded teenage years! You’ll be great!

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