Creepy but cool

Has it been long enough since I’ve done a cancer related post that I can cross over to the morbid side again?

If you were around in January, you might remember when I told you about D2’s friend losing her mom in a car accident. Well yesterday she came home and told me about a new necklace this little girl got over spring break. She said it’s a really pretty glass with colored designs, and oh yeah, it has her mom’s ashes in it. Her little brother got a chili pepper shaped one.

I wasn’t quite sure what to say other than, Wow.

I later asked D1 what her thoughts were on the pendant and she said, “I think it’s cool but also a little creepy”.

My thoughts exactly.

I asked her if she’d ever want one. After some thought she admitted she might and apparently she’d like it in the shape of a music note. I’ll have to remember that.

I can’t seem to stop thinking about it today so I googled it and found this website for cremation jewelry.  I had no idea that sort of thing existed.

Of course, with that dark cancer cloud hanging over me some days, I’m fascinated by it too and even scanned the catalog. I scanned a couple of other sites and saw everything from pendants, bracelets and charms to worry stones and key chains.

Apparently there’s a whole market out there that makes it possible for you to wear your loved ones. Or “keep them close to you” for the non-creepy description.

One company combines the ashes into the glass. Another says their jewelry comes complete with instructions and a funnel. Hopefully you won’t use the kitchen funnel by mistake. That would give new meaning to  “mom’s special recipe”!

Ideally, I’ll live to be 100. But if I don’t, if I go while my girls are still relatively young, do I spend some time with them picking out something like this for them?

Is that beyond creepy? Or is it kind of cool?

Thoughts?

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20 thoughts on “Creepy but cool

  1. What I think of, when I read this post, is your place in life is so different from mine.

    You’ve moved on down the spectrum to the “it could happen” and your intake of material is processed through that filter.

    Mine is, I’ll be 100 and 50 more after that, b/c that’s how I see me.

    You know differently. You’re on the other side of that river. The kind that you made it across, and found new dry land.

    I’m still over here, not seeing me ever needing to waving at them from the other side.

    You do what you feel you want to do. You’ve got that perspective.

    I would never say an item like this is creepy.

    • Sweetie, if I had my way, you’d all stay on that other side. It’s better over there 🙂

      But, once you wade through the deep end it gets easier. It’s a new perspective but not one without possibility.

      That’s not to say I don’t spend a lot of time trying to swim back. It’s the waves of reality that keep pushing me to the side where memorial jewelry is very real.

      Where i’m searching for any way to stay with them. Even if it’s only a tiny part of me.

  2. I have some jewelry that used to belong to my grandmother that I cherish. But I’m not sure I’d want a piece of jewelry with a piece of my grandmother in it.

    I don’t know how young your girls are, or how aware they are of the stakes of this disease you are battling. But I would imagine spending time picking something like this out together would be very traumatic for them.

    It might be cool for you to choose something now to give to them later. You can set it aside for them until that day, at age 101, when you pass on from this world peacefully while in the midst of a sunny, mid-day nap.

    • Yeah I don’t know either. I guess that’s why it’s on my mind. Right now they’re 9, 10 & 14. It’s not something I’d do until we absolutely knew – all of us – that things were going downhill.

      Like if I entered hospice or something. Never before.

      I’m still holding out for the mid-day nap when I’m 101 route 🙂

    • I guess I am in the form of this blog – even though they don’t know about it right now. I’ve always thought I’d edit a few posts out but mostly leave it intact.

  3. I think it’s a lot nicer than an ash-filled urn sitting on the fireplace mantel. I’ve also heard about a company that compresses ashes into diamonds. (www.lifegem.com) I told my husband that’s what I love to have done with mine (…70 years from now). I’m just a diamond in the rough! 😉

    That being said, hopefully your great grandchildren will inherit Grandma’s gems, and that they (you? That feels weird to say…) won’t be an untimely inheritance for your girls.

  4. If I lost any one of my children ~ I’ve never thought about it (the jewelry I mean), but I’d love a locket or pendant that was so special as to have some cremains in it. A lock of their hair would also work. That would have been my 1st thought. ‘If’ my children want to do something with my ashes, that would be such an honor…but I wouldn’t go picking out what it should be. These days, it’s so true there are all sorts of new ideas, and merchandise we’d never have thunk to think up in ‘our’ day. My daughter has a friend that recently lost her husband. SHE is going to have a tattoo done with the ashes somehow added to the ink, or etched into the artwork. Creepy. But cool.

    • Wow about the tattoo. I can see that being both creepy and cool. I’d never presume to tell them what they should do with the new (if dusty) me, but I’d somehow want to convey i’m ok whatever they might choose…or not choose.
      I just had no idea these options were out there and it threw me.

    • I thought about that too. But then what if they were only in the creepy camp and didn’t see anything cool about it?
      Guess I’ll add this to my list of conversations…..waaaaaaaaaay down the line.

  5. I think it’s both. It’s not something I would want, but different things work for different people. I wouldn’t judge anyone for having a piece of jewelry containing a loved one’s ashes.

    • Exactly – no judging allowed. It’s not something I ever would have thought of if not for my daughter’s friend. It’s awfully special to her!

  6. My magic eight ball says there is no right answer. It’s way too premature (if not completely wasted time) to ponder such a question. You’ll know exactly what to do when it’s the “right” time.

  7. I have a friend who carries some of his grandfathers ashes in a film canister in his fishing vest. He loved fishing with his grandpa and loves knowing that he’s with him every time he casts a line. I don’t really think this is creepy at all. Wearing blood viles around necks…that’s creepy.

  8. Just remembered something that can bring some levity to this conversation: my neighbor across the street has her old horse in her garage. In a GIANT plastic bucket. She has a new horse now, but simply can’t bear to let the old one go – even though he passed years ago. She talks to him in the garage occasionally, and it seems to make her happy. 🙂

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