When blog topics come in tiny spotted packages


I’ve been dealing with the whole scanxiety again thing lately – I scan Wednesday on case you missed that post – and have been struggling to come up with non-cancer related posts. You know how that goes, it’s more fun not to write about my impending death.

So yesterday we were out in the back yard and it was like the clouds parted, the sun came out and the blogging gods sang! As if to say, “We’re sorry we haven’t honored you with a topic lately. Let us make it up to you.” So they did. And it was gross.

A little back story – we have aphids on our cherry tree. D2 had been wanting to go to the nursery to buy ladybugs because they’re great little bug eaters. We saw containers of them 2 weeks ago when we went to buy plant starts for her garden.

Anyway, after D3’s soccer game we picked up a little container with not 10 or even 100 but 1500 ladybugs in it. Because you know, the more the merrier and it’s not like they’re roaches. She couldn’t wait to open it and put a few out even though it said evening was best when it’s cooler and they move slower.

But when you’re 10 and you have 1500 ladybugs in a cup, you don’t exactly stop to read directions as you run out to the yard yelling “this is soooo cool!!”.

But then…..dum dum dum….as she was putting a few on the apple and cherry trees, she jumped and yelled, “Mom, I think one flew in my ear. I hear buzzing”. Of course, being the quality mother I am, I said “It’s probably just in your hair by your ear. Give it time, it’ll go away.”

30 minutes later:

D2 – “Mom, I’m sure it’s still in there. I can hear crunching and popping and I think it’s trying to fly.”

Me – “I’m sure you’re imagining it but if it will make you feel better, take a shower and let the water run in your ear.”

SG – “Hey D2 do you want to go with me to take D1 to her oboe lesson and run a few errands?”

D2 – “No, I really need to get this bug out of my ear.”

Me – “Oh stop whining and go with him. You’re fine!”

2 hours later:

“We’re back”

D2 – “It’s still in there.”

D1 – “She hasn’t stopped talking about it.”

Me – “Really? Still with the bug in your ear thing? Fine, I’ll google it.” Because they don’t make a What to Expect book for whining bug obsessed children.

So I googled “how to shut up children who think things are crawling around inside their heads” because I think I mentioned I’m a quality mother.

The suggestion was to have your child put her head over the sink with the infested ear facing up, then pour a small amount of baby, mineral, vegetable or olive oil into the ear canal. This would kill the little bugger and then when you rinse with warm water it should come out. It mentioned you can repeat the steps if you’re only getting a few bugs pieces out at a time. Ewww!

Before I started I peeked in there with a laser pen, because why use a boring old flashlight when you have a laser. I thought I might have seen something spotted so I was beginning to doubt my earlier parenting method of “shut the hell up”.

I got out the olive oil and had her hold still while I drizzled it in. I grabbed the extra virgin because really, she’s only 10.  I want to keep her innocent as long as I can.

Anyway, I poured a little in then gently pulled her earlobe down to remove any air bubbles as instructed by the google gods. Then,  as we prepared to settle in and wait for it to do its magic, a tiny little ladybug floated up out of her ear canal and walked down her earlobe!!

I’ll be damned. There really was a bug in her ear. The ever helpful D3 took it out and put it on the apple tree but not before she added “I sure hope it didn’t poop in there!” Yeah, thanks for that.

Moral of the story – she was right and this is where I should probably admit I was wrong. Who knew?

We put the rest of them out late evening when it was cooler and they simply walked out of the cup onto the leaves.

D2 had toilet paper in her ears.


12 thoughts on “When blog topics come in tiny spotted packages

  1. Ha! I love those parenting moments. I have one kid who I’ve learned to ALWAYS believe and the other to almost NEVER believe. And it sucks when I’m wrong.

  2. “I grabbed the extra virgin because really, she’s only 10.”

    omgosh!! I’m lol-ing for realsies and my dog is like, really ??????

    That was hysterical! I have learned that between my kids and my gardens, I am never short of blog material!!

  3. Fantastic post! I too giggled {loudly} at the EVOO comment. Aren’t you the lucky one to have an avid gardener in the family AND a cherry tree in the yard! We made cherry jam last weekend ~ and those suckers are so expensive. For the price of them – the pits should be guaranteed to jump out without any effort ;))

    • The girls all got to have their own raised beds this year….i love it because they take care of them and share the goodies 🙂 Our other bed was changed to all strawberries when they got their own! We also have tons of raspberries and currant bushes. Can you tell we like fruit? Amen on the pitting!! My friends’ inlaws have a cherry orchard so we usually get a couple of flats of sweet cherries after their harvest – for FREE – and she lets us borrow the pitter. I love cherry season!!!!!!!!

  4. Thanks for this! If my kid ever gets a bug in his/her ear, I’ll think of you and this blog. You should write a book or something, this is quality!

    • Glad to be of service! It might come to mind years from now when suddenly you find yourself or a kiddo with a bug. Come back and tell me when it does 🙂

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