Singing the End of the Year Blues

As I run around getting things done this week, I have a new theory about the people who pull their kids out of school the last week to start vacations early.

I mean really, summer break officially starts tomorrow afternoon. You can’t wait a few days and let your kids enjoy the funnest week of the whole year?

My theory? You ask with great anticipation.

It’s not because they got a great deal on plane tickets or because it was the only available week for their time share in Aspen. It’s not even because the last week is spent doing everything BUT learning.

Nope! It’s because they’re smarter than me. They know that it’s volunteer hell this last week and they don’t want any part of it. They’re not idiots. They’ve given themselves the perfect excuse to say things like:

“I’m sorry, I can’t chaperone the walking field trip to DQ – we’ll be out of town.”


“Gosh, I’d love get up at the butt crack of dawn to make bacon for the 5th grade breakfast but darn it all, I’m going to be in Aruba!”

and especially,

“Damn, bowling is my favorite sport ever and I’m crushed I can’t come along to help all those kids figure out their shoe size!”

It’s so they can laugh their butts off all the way to the airport when they hear the rest of us stupid people say things like:

“Picnic in the rain? I’d LOVE to! Sign me to bring the drinks!”

I used to wonder about those people and why they’d chose this week to withdraw their kids and take off.

Now I don’t.

Instead I’m wondering what kind of deals I can get on tickets outta here this time next year? I’m a slow learner but eventually I figure it out.

Now if you’ll excuse me,  I need get cookies out of the oven. I volunteered to bring 2 dozen to tonight’s post-promotion reception for my 8th grader. Like I said, REALLY slow learner!


9 thoughts on “Singing the End of the Year Blues

  1. Hi! I’m the one volunteering to help with the 5th grade graduation dinner tonight! That’ll make it a 12-hour day for me! In my spare time, while not doing my paid job or working on a conference in another state during that last week of school, I’m making bread for the teachers and writing up lists for the household so they can do all the things I can’t do because I won’t be here. Like make sure there’s cut up watermelon and plates for the 4th grade party and then ice cream supplies for the OTHER 4th grade party. Sigh.

    My name? Glutton For Punishment. Perhaps you know me?

    • Yes, I believe we’ve met. I’m the helper/bringer of drinks for the rainy picnic, bacon for 65, baked goods for teachers, cookies for promotion lady! My formal name? Dumbass! Glad to know you and good luck!! I’m glad I don’t have a paying job this week. I don’t envy you! 🙂

  2. Thanks! Since I’m the sole vegetarian out in the boondocks, I’m the one who scrawled the mean note on the food request sheet about how hot dogs and chips for a “fun party lunch” doesn’t really cut it and how the hell can the school promote “healthy eating” and then feed kids this shit? That’s why I’m the mom sending my kid to school with a watermelon. Because I’m nothing but Ms. Party Pooper!

    THanks for the bacon making, though! I’d have turned that one down FLAT. No ifs, ands or buts. Oooh, I said “butt”! Don’t tell the teacher.

  3. Oh – and – guess how many years I’ve been the girl scout troop’s Cookie Mom? The right answer wins you a prize.

  4. Guess which type of Mom is doing the best thing for their family? Your children will probably do the same for their families one day.

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