As I run around getting things done this week, I have a new theory about the people who pull their kids out of school the last week to start vacations early.
I mean really, summer break officially starts tomorrow afternoon. You can’t wait a few days and let your kids enjoy the funnest week of the whole year?
My theory? You ask with great anticipation.
It’s not because they got a great deal on plane tickets or because it was the only available week for their time share in Aspen. It’s not even because the last week is spent doing everything BUT learning.
Nope! It’s because they’re smarter than me. They know that it’s volunteer hell this last week and they don’t want any part of it. They’re not idiots. They’ve given themselves the perfect excuse to say things like:
“I’m sorry, I can’t chaperone the walking field trip to DQ – we’ll be out of town.”
“Gosh, I’d love get up at the butt crack of dawn to make bacon for the 5th grade breakfast but darn it all, I’m going to be in Aruba!”
“Damn, bowling is my favorite sport ever and I’m crushed I can’t come along to help all those kids figure out their shoe size!”
It’s so they can laugh their butts off all the way to the airport when they hear the rest of us stupid people say things like:
“Picnic in the rain? I’d LOVE to! Sign me to bring the drinks!”
I used to wonder about those people and why they’d chose this week to withdraw their kids and take off.
Now I don’t.
Instead I’m wondering what kind of deals I can get on tickets outta here this time next year? I’m a slow learner but eventually I figure it out.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need get cookies out of the oven. I volunteered to bring 2 dozen to tonight’s post-promotion reception for my 8th grader. Like I said, REALLY slow learner!