I’m coming out of my summer hibernation to update you on a friend I mentioned in April. I told you about K – my friend who was waiting for a heart.
K had been in and out of the hospital the last months – mostly in. We emailed back and forth frequently until mid May when I think the pain brought on by his mechanical heart began to overwhelm him. My emails went unanswered and he stopped posting on Facebook.
The unusual part of that is his wonderful sense of humor regularly involved posting pictures of his cup of pills with sarcastic captions about breakfast. He brought humor to the rest of us when we checked on him. Plus, he was just bored! I can’t ever picture K without his wonderfully goofy grin. I kept thinking I was going to drive the 3 hours to visit him but life with 3 children always seemed to get in the way.
I kept worrying and finally emailed his wife even though we’ve never met.
“How is he?” I asked.
She replied with a simple. “He’s struggling to survive.”
He was too weak for company and in the cardiac ICU again. She’d let me know when he was strong enough and I’d be in the car immediately.
He never got strong enough. He had a massive stroke and passed away August 4th. At 41, he left behind his sweet young wife of less than 2 years, their unborn baby girl named Virginia, or Ginny as he called her, and his 2 sons ages 10 and 12 who were the light of his life.
It doesn’t seem real that such a vibrant life is gone. I keep checking my inbox for notes from him because through it all, he regularly checked in to see how I was feeling or how the girls and SG were doing. In the midst of his pain he checked on me. It always amazed me but that’s just the way he was. We took turns worrying about each other. Losing him has left a big hole.
I can’t begin to imagine what his wife is going through! She’s so strong and brave but so very heartbroken. I don’t know what to say or what to send to make it better. She’s kept his FB page up and there are pages and pages of comments by people who loved her husband. People who knew her husband longer but not better than she did. She’s asked that the stories continue for his sons.
The day of his service, she posted this on his wall:
“Goodbye my love, be at peace. I’ll take care of everything now.”
To K, I say:
“Goodbye my friend! Rest now – I’ll watch out for your family.”