Have I really been writing this crap for a year??

I’d planned to  spend today responding to the exercise guest post with my thoughts on that and the 1/2 marathon. Then today came along and it turns out I don’t feel like spending much time on it after all and since it’s MY blog, I’m allowed to change my mind. So, it’s shorter than I’d planned but here’s what I’ve got to say:

Exercise is great therapy if you can do it while in treatment. But if you can’t, that’s also something that you have to realize and be ok with. Knowing your new limits is a huge hurdle when life is turned upside down with a diagnosis like cancer. There are days, training for this 1/2 marathon, that I feel great and the ibuprofen works but there are also days I try to walk a while and instead come home and nap.

Knowing your body and what it can and cannot do on any given day is truly the key to staying well during all the chaos of treatments. Especially if your treatment does not have an endpoint. If your body needs sleep, give in to it. Personally, I think that’s the truth regardless of your life situation.

That said, I also know I feel so much better when I spend the day moving than when I sit too much. Another aspect is that the healthier I am going into any future surgeries, the easier the recovery.  I went into one surgery post marathon training and another while still weak from the prior one. There is no comparison – Strength is my friend!

That’s probably why I agreed to the guest post. To serve as a reminder to myself should I forget.

Now back to me and my other random thoughts because I realized that today is the 1 year anniversary of this bloggy thing. Yay me!

I started this a year ago not knowing where it would go but instead just wrote what came into my mind at any given time. Occasionally, they were written in the middle of the night in my mind only to disappear with the light of day. Frequently, they stayed with me long enough to actually make it to you.

Occasionally I think they were well written and sometimes I’m pretty sure they’d have gotten me a big fat red F from my highschool English teacher Mrs. Troxel. There were weekly gimmicks I thought I might explore that quickly went by the wayside because I have attention span of a 2 yr old. On a good day.

The most viewed post (thanks to Marinka’s special pimping skills) was on my 5 yr cancerversary . It was also, I think, the most therapeutic, cleansing post I’ve ever written. It was where I purged 5 years of stress and drama in one place. I appreciate the feedback and the time you all took to wade through the endless whining.

The post that brought the most people here via obscene xxx rated search terms was an innocent post about doughnuts. Ok, maybe there was a bit of questionable discussion of anatomically correct doughnuts but hey, that’s what makes life fun right? And the list of search terms always brightens my day and makes me question humanity and the gutters people call home.

I don’t know about all the rest because I haven’t checked. Many I’ve gone back to read and don’t at all remember which really makes me think I spew my thoughts in haste and move on. Kind of like when you study for a test at the last-minute then forget it as soon as you write down the answers. I think much of my life is like that. Spew and forget. I blame the drug addled haze I live in.

I’ve told you about my amazing kids and my dogs and SG. I’ve made you think  he’s some sort of saint because he grocery shops, does the dishes and holds my hand in his sleep. I could have also told you about his hairy back and the fact that he could earn an Olympic medal in farting. Just as he could tell you about my Olympic level skill in nagging and being an all around pain in his ass. But I didn’t. I chose the qualities that make me love him the most to share with you because that’s how I see him.

I thank you for putting up with the sappiness!

Thank you for also for putting up with my endless posts about my scanxiety every 3 months. You’ll be happy to know I’ve gone to 4 months scans so there will be fewer of those!

I will continue to write random, dorky, english flunking posts with the occasional thoughtful well written one thrown in for good measure.

Just as I struggle with finding the balance between life as a cancer patient and life as just me, I’ll struggle to find that balance here. I’ll try not to be too cancer heavy with my posts, but I can’t promise there won’t be more like She Sleeps and The Darkest Hours. Given that I’m on my way to Portland again, there may even be more doughnut porn. Who knows?

I have no idea if the coming year will be stress free or involve new drug changes and more surgeries. But I do know that I’m grateful for the year you all have spent with me .

As I  continue the struggle to manage the chaos that is my life, I hope you’ll continue to hang out with me.

xoxox

A

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6 thoughts on “Have I really been writing this crap for a year??

  1. Your blogs are always interesting plus, one other thing. The other thing changes each time. You are thought provoking or funny, sometimes both in the same post. I am glad that I “met” you and didn’t have Mrs. Troxel.

  2. I had Mrs. Troxel and she would have most definitely approved. All of your posts are “English-worthy,” my dear. (“My dear” comes from Mrs. Troxel).

    Love you, love you, love you. I always look forward to reading whatever it is you write.

    • Yes that does come from her doesn’t it? We just can’t get away from her 🙂
      I wonder if SHE has a blog?
      Love you too my dear friend! See you soon!

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