Boy am I SAD

I’m finding it was so much easier to stop writing than it is to start again.

Somewhere along the line I’ve run out of things to say. Although those who know me in person know that silent will never be a word used to describe me.

My sister once said that I’m like a refrigerator – a constant background noise that you learn to tune out. So why then haven’t I been able to put any thoughts on paper/monitor (what the hell ever) ?

I look around me and there is so much going on but it’s busy work. Nothing of interest to anyone outside my head. The people I converse with in there have a lot to say. No, I don’t hear voices. Don’t have me committed. What I think I’m saying is that the one person interested in my life and what it going on, is me. But honestly, even I’m a little bored.

Did I tell you I’ve gained 10lbs since my last scan? It’s not pretty. I don’t know what happened. I googled reasons for rapid weight gain. I wanted to see if it’s related to the cancer at all but apparently cancer goes hand in hand with weight LOSS.

The only reason I could find was lack of exercise combined with too many calories. Who knew?

I think it was a long snowy February. I think I have SAD – for most people, that stands for Seasonal Affective Disorder – but for me I’m pretty sure it’s Sedentary Ass-growing Disease.

So much for my whole “I’m going to exercise my cancer away” bullshit. I never could stick to anything.

I’ve got it in my head though that I’m going to switch to a full marathon this year from my half of last year. That was something that I’d planned to do originally before the Gleevec stopped working and it’s something I need to do. Something to plan for. D1 is trying like hell to talk me into letting her do it with me. I guess we’ll see. It would be nice to have that time with her but it’s also been my time away. Honestly though, I’d like her there. She’s good company and I never know how much time we will have together.

Not to mention she’s only 3 years away from college. How the heck did that happen?

Anyway, with any luck my SAD will soon turn into Sunny Ass-shrinking Days and I’ll be able to get into pants that don’t have elastic again. I may even write about it.

How was your winter?








7 thoughts on “Boy am I SAD

  1. If you find a way for shrinking ass syndrome that doesn’t involve diet, exercise or lipo, patent it. Then you won’t have the time to write…too busy counting your money.

  2. Not exercising and eating too much causes weight gain!? I wish someone would have told me that six months ago when I had to cut back on my running and started making my own bread at about the same time. That’s when I noticed the numbers on the scale starting to creep upwards! I’m with you in spirit, Girl.

  3. I suffer from both kinds of SAD. I did lose 15 pounds on WW but quit if Feb because…well, I can’t afford it (the online version) and can pretty much do it on my own now. Little numbers appear in the air when I shove something in my mouth. Doesn’t stop me but I am more disciplined now. Sort of. My jelly bean addiction is back. 🙂 Oh well. I’m just happy it’s warm again. My ass might be wide but so is my smile.

  4. I have that same condition too! My doctor attributed it to menopause but I suspect the too much food in/too little exercise thing might also relate. If you’d like to move to Chicago, we could try to get each other exercising more! And then we could go out to lunch! It’d be great.

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