Lack of grace?

I’m breaking all sorts of records today by posting twice in one day after such a long absence. Actually, have I ever posted two?

I’m spent the last hour reading articles that I won’t provide a link for because I don’t want to give them anymore attention than they already have and I’m too lazy. Granted it involves a NY Times writer and his wife so they probably don’t need me to send my 3 people over anyway.

Long story short, he and his wife both wrote articles criticizing Lisa Boncheck Adams for tweeting and blogging about her metastatic breast cancer. Google it. It’s everywhere. It showed up in 3 different articles on my Zite app this afternoon and caught my eye for obvious reasons.

There is a quote at the end of the NY Times article that suggested that people who choose to really “fight” cancer (God I hate war comparisons!) aren’t maybe handling it with as much grace and courage as those who accept the inevitable and just die already. I’m paraphrasing.

The author also compares Lisa, a young mom of 3, to his father-in-law who died quickly. Yes, the whole mom of 3 thing is probably what sent me over the edge.

Who the hell are they to tell us how to properly die. To me, going to “heroic measures” to be here for our children is what courage and grace are all about. I’m not on feeding tubes, they aren’t changing my diapers, I am not dependent upon them to care for me!

Instead, I am going to their band concerts, baking them birthday cakes and doing what I can to teach them all I can while I’m still here. Get that? While I’m still here! I will likely get to see my oldest graduate from high school.

I am on drug #6 and recently had surgery #4! These are the measures I go to for my children. Is it fun? No! As a matter of fact, most days suck. But I AM HERE! I am putting on the best face possible for them and I am doing this thing!

Does it require a boat load of courage to face each scan and pop the pills that I know will make me feel horrible? Why yes, I think it does! Would dying 8 years ago have been easier? Absolutely. For me. But not for them. The cancer patient gets the easy part. The ones left behind? Not so much.

It’s called parenting! Parenting despite what we’re going through on any given day. Parenting in a way that we hope will make them stronger, more courageous people who can handle life’s challenges with grace.

Which is exactly what I’m seeing in my girls and it reassures me that I’m facing this in the right way.

Do you get to judge me for my choices? Sure you do but only because I’ve put myself out there publicly. Will you be right? It’s doubtful.

6 thoughts on “Lack of grace?

  1. I think you’re AWESOME! And that’s all I have to say about it. Oh, other than those two can get in line to kiss our collective asses!!

  2. I read the article twice this morning, wondering if he is really comparing any two people’s choices regarding such a difficult, personal issue. Right or wrong way to handle what’s been given to you? Preposterous and presumptuous.

    • I kept going back to that too. A young mother vs his father-in-law – the comparison baffles me. And like you said, ANY two people’s choices shouldn’t be compared and especially not criticized!

  3. I love this! And you are spot on. Your courage and selflessness and compassion define your parenting style. Keep on keeping on.

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